My Love Life is not as I had Expected
by sodaNK
Summary: A series of one-shots about 8man and his pregnant significant other(s).
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Yukino Yukinoshita

「 _Hikigaya. My apartment. Now._ 」

I gulped at that message. Yukinoshita hadn't addressed me by my full name since we started dating. I quickly put my phone back into my pocket.

"Ne, who was that, Senpai?"

"Yukino. Er, I gotta go. She wants to see me now."

"Eh? But we're not even halfway done with the shopping!"

"Tell that to your someone who's actually your boyfriend."

With that, I quickly made a beeline for Yukinoshita's apartment. Thankfully, it wasn't too far away. After leaving the train station, I made my way to Utase Apartment Complex. What could Yukinoshita have wanted? It was strange for her to call me out of nowhere in the middle of the day. But, we were dating, so maybe she wanted to spend some time with her fiancée ? Plausible, but she wasn't like any other conventional girl. She wouldn't have called me for no reason.

...No, the tone she took. It must've been something serious.

I soon found myself at one of the gates of her condominium. The estate was pretty big for such an area. I dialed Yukinoshita's apartment number, and on the screen came the Ice Queen herself. She was not happy. I gulped for the second time. She didn't say a word, and her face disappeared as soon as the gate opened. I made my towards her block. The ride up the lift was pretty nerve racking. What'd I do this time? Did the Gods of Romantic Comedy have their fill with me and decided to lift their spell on the poor Yukinoshita's heart? Ah well. It was fun while it happened. Maybe in a parallel universe another version of me and a yandere Yukinoshita were getting together. **(1)**

 _Ping._ The lift chimed and the doors opened, only to reveal an extremely unimpressed Yukinoshita. She had her arms folded and was adorned with a frown. What offset her angry appearance was her outfit. She was wearing a sleeveless yellow shirt blouse and a pair of jeans. Her hair was done up in twintails. Overall, very cute and reminiscent of our first "date". Oh wait, it was also the first time I met the elder Yukinoshita, Haruno, wasn't it? _Yabai._ **(2)** This might be a bad omen…

" _Who_ were you with?"

Woah! Please, Yukinoshita, people tend to ask " _Where were you"_ first when the other party member is late.

"You know, people tend to ask 'where' instead of 'who'"

"Answer the question, Hikigaya."

There she goes again. With my family name. Oi oi, we've been together for a few years now, why so distant? It should be okay to call me 8man by now! **(3)**

"Iro-Isshiki."

Her glare strengthened two-fold. I began to cower under it, and gulped for the third time. I could feel some sweat slowly moving down my face. My legs became jelly. Oi! Don't give out now! If this becomes a bad-end I'll need to get out as quickly as I can before I'm asked why I switched! **(4)**

"I see. Looks like I'm dating an Unfaithful-gaya who can't keep his pants to himself."

"What's up with that nickname? And I was dragged along by Isshiki, ok!"

"You'll grovel on the ground to any girl who so much as even glances at you. Maybe I should get you to do that for me, Masochist-gaya-kun."

Wow that actually hurt more than it should've. My SP meter is as empty as her heart currently but she seems to have her Active Person on and her SP meter constantly filled. Maybe I should unleash my awakening mode now… **(5)**

She sighed and rubbed her temples.

"Take a seat on the couch. I'll get some tea boiling."

Won't take too long to, considering how angry she was. Instead of the Ice Queen maybe I should be calling her Thunderbolt Ross. **(6)**

I walked over to the sofa and sunk into the soft leather. I noticed that it was getting dark outside. I considered turning on the TV to check the weather but the remote was too far away, so I gave up. And by too far, I meant it was on the coffee table a third of a meter away from me. I would've started practicing my force **(7)** then, but Yukinoshita came out from the kitchen and placed a teapot on the table. She also held two mugs, both of Pan-san design. Ah, no matter how cold the exterior, every girl has a soft spot for something, huh. I took the blue one while she took the pink one that had a Pan-san with a ribbon. Wait, aren't they both Pan-san? Wasn't the pink one just the male Pan-san with a ribbon? I didn't know Yukinoshita was into crossdressers. Maybe we could both convince Totsu-

"Hachiman. Do you know why I called you over here today?"

Thanks. I almost turned into Ebina right then. She finally called me by my name, too.

"No? I could've guessed to go to Destinyland again but judging by the tone of your message and how angry you were, I'm gonna take a shot and say it's something serious."

"You're right about one thing. And that's how mad I am."

"Aye. So you're saying it's your period right now and that I should stay away? _Or,_ maybe you actually want to _do_ something else. Hehe."

"Absolutely disgusting. Please, if you giggle like that a million baby pandas will die."

"There aren't even a million adult pandas."

"All because of you. Whatever. What you said just now was false, however. The problem is, I haven't been getting my period."

I dropped the mug. Actually, I didn't, I was actually still holding onto the handle with a grip so tight the ceramic mug should've shattered. Along with my dreams of living my life peacefully.

"I'm sorry, Yukinoshita, what did you just say?"

"What I'm trying to say is, Baka-gaya, is that I'm pregnant."

Babies. Babies are the result of the male and female of most species having sexual intercourse. In humans, pregnancy is the result of the male's sperm merging with the female's ovum. The female stops ovulating, and the ovum eventually develops into a fetus. After a gestation period of 9 months, a baby is born. This process has been repeated for literally millions of years for nearly every single human being. And I was going to succeed them, and bring glory to my ancestors. Oji-chan? Is that you? I did it! I've succeeded in providing the Hikigaya clan with another member!

I could feel my face flush. My chest started to tighten and the muscle responsible for pumping blood to the rest of my body started beating harder, better, faster and stronger. **(8)** Mostly just harder and faster, though. Still a good song.

"Hachiman? What's wrong with your eyes?"

I was snapped back to reality by Yukinoshita. Eh? Something happened to my eyes? I touched my left eye, and a warm liquid trickled down. Oh, I was just crying. I thought my pupils had become red and my sclerae black. **(9)**

"Yu-Yukino. Mind repeating what you just said?"

Yukino's glare softened. Her lips moved upwards and she reached out to grab my hand, and placed it on her belly.

"Baby-gaya, would you mind telling your father that you exist, now?"

My jaw dropped. My eyes, normally squinting, were so wide I was afraid they'd drop out of their sockets. I felt my chest becoming very...how do I put it...it was a very foreign feeling. I vaguely remember feeling it when Yukino accepted my confession. Or when I was accepted by the Yukinoshita family. But this feeling was something different. It was a different level of, dare I say it, happiness.

My lips quivered, before forming into a smile. "Yukino, you dummy. It's obviously gonna be called Hikki-baby."

"We'll call it whatever we want when it's born. I have another piece of good news. The marriage forms have been accepted."

Dear Lord,

This is it. I've reached the peak of happiness. All the hardship I've endured in the past. My loner skills have brought me this far. I imagined I'd receive more retribution, though.

"Stop smiling like that. You'll scare the baby."

"Don't worry, this is gonna be a one time thing."

"Ah. Well then. Shall we go? We'll need to buy lots of baby paraphernalia."

"That's a big word, Yuki-pedia."

"Only for a numbskull like you."

I smiled once more. This feeling of happiness welling in my heart, was genuine. As Yukino and I sat up, we interlocked fingers and brought each other closer.

Guess my Youth Romantic Comedy wasn't as wrong as I'd thought.

 **(1) s/11296094/1/My-girlfriend-is-more-wrong-than-I-had-expected** Reference to one of, if not my favourite story of all time. Big shoutout to BigKokujin!

(2) Yabai is a Japanese term that means something along the lines of "This is bad" or "Danger!". It basically means "Uh oh".

(3) In Japan, it's considered rude to call a person by his given name if you're not familiar. People call each other by the surnames first. 8man is a parody of Hikigaya's name. 'Hachi' in Japanese can mean eight, and well, 'man' is self explanatory.

(4) Reference to a bad end in the VN 'I thought it was a harem paradise but it turned out to be a yandere hell.' There's a girl that's a bit similar to Yukino in the sense that she was an Ice cool beauty.

(5)References to Persona 4

(6) Reference to the Red Hulk. Basically Hulk, but the angrier it gets the hotter it becomes.

(7) A long time ago in a galaxy far far away…

(8) Reference to Daft Punk's song Harder Better Faster Stronger. Absolutely amazing song. Go. Listen to it.

(9) Reference to Tokyo Ghoul.

Hey ho hi. Thanks for reading to the end! This is my first time writing a fanfic! First and foremost I want to apologise. This story is pretty much crack. I mean, the characters are really OOC and it lacks the 8man monologue. I'm sorry, but I find it really difficult to write. Uh, this is just one story out of many that I'm planning. Most will also cover 8man reacting to his pregnant SO. In my mind it sounds innocent enough but saying pregnant is never not awkward. Hmm, the stories pretty much won't be in the same continuity, but maybe I'll sneak in some references. Oh and this was written (on my phone no less) using Google docs in about an hour or two. That wasn't a brag, that was an excuse why this story is so bad. Welp, once again, thanks for reading. See ya!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Yui Yuigahama

" _Hikki…I love you. Please go out with me."_

 ***BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP***

' _Ugh'_ That dream again, huh. Although it's been a long time since then, it's been resurfacing lately.

As the Wikipedia states, _dreams are successions of images, ideas, emotions and sensations that occur during certain stages of sleep._ For me, this was certainly a case of emotions. After all, what peaks when you get confessed to? Your adrenaline levels rise, you feel light headed, your chest tightens, she reaches for your hands, gently clasping them, with a begging look in her eyes. You'd be a monster to turn the poor lady down. Yeah, that's right. I'm talking about you, main continuity me. I'd guess I'd rather go for World 1's Yuigahama than World 11296094's though. **(1)**

I glanced over at my clock, the damn thing having finally stopped making the dreadful call of its people. 9:30, huh. Pretty early. Hmm, I didn't have to go for any classes today. I yawned, and sat on the edge of my bed. My door was slightly ajar. That explained why Kamakura was beside me, then. He looked up to me, and seemed to say, _Ne, Master, there's something going on down there._ Ah, it seems that my [Animal Whisperer] skill has leveled up overnight. Putting on some Pan-san slippers, I walked down to the living room.

The smell of pancakes wafted through the air. The sizzling of the pan, the humming. Pretty picturesque for a morning, eh. And in the kitchen, was Ms 'Nice Girl' Yuigahama herself, wearing nothing but an apron- Oh wait nevermind she had an oversized t-shirt, _mine,_ over her. With an apron! Is that a new trend? Sure feels like it. Coming up behind her, _Stealth Hikki Mode_ fully maxed, I gave her a hug.

"Ah-ah! Hikki! What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Can't I give my Juliet a rose?"

Her face flushed considerably, cheeks as scarlet as her hair.

"That-that's a terrible description Hikki! Even I think that you could have come up with something better!"

"Ah, it's morning anyway. I can't think straight."

"Hehe~ ah well, take a seat by the table first. Komachi has already eaten her breakfast and taken Sablé for a walk."

"Hmm? Ok then."

I gave her a peck on her neck, to which she reacted very cutely, neck moving away while attempting to use her arms to push me away. Futile!

"H-Hikki! Stop that! I'm ticklish! At this rate, the pancakes are gonna burn!"

Eh, guess I should stop. I relented and walked over to the table. There were a few leftover pancakes. I took a plate and scooped them over. Yuigahama has certainly improved in her cooking. If she had made the pancakes a few years earlier, they would've been darker than my heart then.

"Oh yeah, Hikki! Let's go shopping later!"

Yuigahama said that as she placed some more pancakes on my plate. Sadly, there wasn't any whip cream or maple syrup. I sincerely apologise to all Canadians. But, they'd probably apologise back, eh? **(2)**

"Later? Alright, but for what reason?"

"Hehe! That's a secret!"

I pondered over what she said. Secret, huh. Welp, it's going to be revealed later, so I might as well.

Around noon, we set off for the Aeon Mall. **(3)** It was quite far from where we were, so we rode my bicycle over to the train station. We alighted at the Kaihin-Makuhari station, and slowly walked there. The entire time, we were ironically acting like a riajuu couple. Fingers interlocked, Yuigahama's head on my shoulder, and an overall pretty lovey-dovey mood around us. I glanced over at the pinkhead on my shoulder. She was wearing some standard summer clothing. It's always either very hot or frigid cold in Chiba. She was wearing a white one piece dress that was rather baggy, which was a good thing. I don't want to have to fight off other guys. Yuigahama's _Yuis_ were not for any other bastard to see. Not that I owned Yuigahama. She was a completely separate entity from me, obviously. After all, she was going to Heaven, and I was going to Hell. Yet, she's the one clinging onto the sinner. A terrible choice right there, Miss. Please open your eyes and see how much of a rotten human being I am, thank you very much. The spell cast on her by the Gods of Romantic Comedy was far too strong for me to break, however. Thus, I was stuck with a loving, albeit naive spouse. Ah, this seems like a good time to tease her.

"Yui."

"H-hai, Hachiman?"

"Don't you think...that what you're wearing is a little bit, uh, revealing?"

"E-eh?! B-but…"

"After all, a lot of your back is shown. Plus, the skirt part is pretty short. If the wind blows your _pantsu_ **(4)** might be shown to everyone. Or do you want that to happen?"

"Hikki! That's mean! You know I'm wearing this to impress you!"

"Oh? No wonder you've been making passes at me and trying so hard at night lately~"

"Ah! Don't say that out loud! Argh… I hate you!"

The glare she shot at me came off as being very harmless, nothing more than a pout. She started punching my arm, to which I playfully winced along.

"Ora Ora Ora Ora ORA! **(5)** Take that, you meanie!"

"Oh dear. It seems I'll need to summon my stand as well! Go! 8Man!"

Unleashing my Ultimate Attack, I leaned in and gave Yuigahama a kiss in her cheek. Very OOC for me. My high-school me would never have even dreamed about being able to do this to anything, let alone a girl. Hmm, I wonder where has all my [Cynicism] gone to? At least most of my 108 Loner Skills™ are still with me.

The blushing mess that was Yuigahama and I soon arrived at Aeon. The place was huge! And incredibly modern.

Skipping ahead of some {Shopping} cutscenes, we eventually stopped at a Saizeriya. Oh? My favourite restaurant? I wonder what's the occasion today.

"Table for two?"

A perky waitress asked. She had a pretty face and a body sought after by both men and women alike. Such tactic much effectiveness. Well, I guess Saize, or any other business, wasn't run by idiots. _*Cough*_ _Trump Organisation *Cough*._

"Uh, Ye-"

"Actually, we have a reservation."

Hm? Wait, we have a reservation? Yuigahama has planned something? Explains her behaviour before leaving our house.

"Oh! I see. Are you Miss..Hikigaya?"

"Yes."

I glanced at Yuigahama. She looked back at me, beaming. Her eyes were obviously saying 'its a surprise!'. Hoh, with all this foxyness, you must've been taking lessons from Isshiki, haven't you?

And speak of the devil herself. There she was, in all her glory, The Uncute Komachi. And Komachi herself. And...Yukinoshita? And Sensei?! And Totsuka?! What was the occasion? Have I finally reached the ending? I haven't even caught all the legendaries yet! **(6)** Oh yeah Zaimokuza was there. So was Kawa...Black Lace. And the *hiss* Insect. And *hiss* Hayama Hayato himself. And the elder Yukinoshita. Actually, the main characters were all here! Wh-whaaat? No seriously, what's happening?

" **Happy birthday!"**

*Pop* *Pop*

Streamers? That's a nice touch. Ah, so it's my birthday today. Right.

I looked at the party and was surprised. Everybody seemed to be in a joyous mood. They all had a big smile plastered on their faces. Even the counterfeit smiles of Hayama and Haruno had been replaced with something resembling genuineness. Oh man, if I was just a bit younger, I would've gone all cynical and said something along the lines of 'Hell has frozen over'. But, I had already resolved to look over such pettiness. If people were making an effort to accommodate for you, so be it. If this occasion was meant to be a celebration, just go with the flow. Oh man, that sounded really, _riajuu-ish_. The Great 8Man has truly fallen. At least, I can't say I'm unhappy with the way things are though.

" _Senpaiiiii."_

 _Eeugh._

"Wh-what?"

"Shishishi, take a seat!"

"Ah, yes, Birthday-gaya. Do not stand on ceremony after we have painstakingly detailed a plan to get you to come here. It's suspiciously successful. **(7)** "

"Right! Hikki! Come here!"

I couldn't even respond as Isshiki grabbed my shoulders and pushed me over to a seat in the middle. Directly across me was Totsuka. Ah! So he's my birthday present? Well I'm not gonna stand on ceremony then. Oh wait nevermind I'm hitched to Yuigahama. I wouldn't mind Totsuka as my concubine, though~

"Hikigaya. Would you mind wiping that disgusting grin off of your face and blow the candles already?"

"Yeah, Hikki, blow the candles!"

The people around me started chanting the No.1 most overrated song of all time. Hey, don't you guys know that some church copyrighted it or something?

"Omae-ra…" **(8)**

Ilooked around. Everyone...was looking at me without any glares or looks of disgust. They all seemed...genuine. Was this what I wanted all along? Loners shouldn't be getting the good end! We're side characters! Maybe it's just a birthday event. Gotta get those Love Gems. **(9)** I looked over at the cake. It was simple. Just a coffee flavoured one with some love letters garnishing it. A single candle stood in the middle. It looked good, but I could tell it was hand-made.

"Yui. Did you bake this cake?"

"Ah? You knew? Well, I baked it with Yukinon! So, it shouldn't be too bad, right? Anyway! Blow the candle already so we can eat it!"

I glanced over at Yukinoshita. The Ice Queen looked somewhat content. The other members of the table were also anticipating me to blow the candle. I took one last look at the cake, and blew the candle. They all then applauded, but Yui suddenly exclaimed.

"Oh no! Hikki! Did you make a wish first?"

"Hmm? Ah, I'll make it now then. What I wish for is…"

"Don't say it out loud! The wish won't come true!"

"for Yui, and everyone here, to find their genuine happiness."

The table became silent. Weird, considering how many people there were and the amount of noise they were making. It was obvious that it was a very out of character thing for me to say. Miura broke the silence.

"Nn, Hikio! What did you say? Did you wish for our happiness? Wow, you really have changed since high-school."

She gave me a condescending look, however it was more of an approval than a snobbish one. I surprised myself too. What did I wish for? Genuine happiness? The past me would have told you it didn't exist, but now, I can somewhat grasp its existence.

The rest of the party flew by rather quickly. By the time it ended, it was close to ten. Yuigahama and I were the second to leave. Kawa? Was the first to go. Something about needing to take care of "Kei-cha-I mean Keika." That family con.

Yuigahama and I were pretty silent throughout our return trip. We did make some small talk about what had just happened, but nothing much. We were just enjoying each other's company. Not needing to explicitly state what we wanted. We soon found ourselves at our doorstep.

"Komachi-chan won't be coming back today, so we have the rest of the night to ourselves."

"Hmm. What's that girl planning?"

"Ehe, it's nothing! Anyway, let's go inside."

Unlocking the door, we were greeted by the brown ball of energy that was Sablé. The little guy probably missed us. I could hear Kamakura meowing from the living room. That lazy little guy. Yuigahama and I decided to turn in early, so after changing, we hopped onto our bed together. Yuigahama was obviously planning to say something to me. She had been fidgeting and blushing the whole time we were home. Now that we were in bed together (not that way you perv), I decided to ask her about it.

"Hey, Yui. What's wrong?"

"Eh eh? N-nothing's wrong!"

"It doesn't take a detective to know that you have something to say to me. So what's bugging you?"

"No, it's just that I've been reflecting a lot on our relationship."

"I see. So?"

"W-well…"

She turned to me. Lips pursed. Eyes moist. Hair fully down. This was the woman I had pledged to spend the rest of my life with.

"Wh-what if I told you...it won't be just the two of us anymore?"

 _Hah?_

"Hah? Y-Yui...don't tell me…"

She leaned over and clasped my hand with both of hers. She really was small compared to me. But nothing felt smaller than my heart at that point.

"Hachiman. I have a baby."

Her face was glossy with sweat. The air was thick with tension. She was waiting for my reaction. But how could I deliver appropriately? I've just been told that my wife is pregnant. On my birthday, no less. I started thinking about my relationship with Yuigahama, no, Yui.

After I accepted her confession, it was tough. Both of us were new to dating. How were we to know how to act? To add on to the difficulty, I had wanted to keep our status a secret. I didn't want her friendship with Hayama's clique to strain, and neither did I want to strain the Service Club's relationship, too. The truth leaked out eventually, however. Indeed, relationships were strained. Yukino took it the hardest. I was aware she had feelings for me, but didn't think much of it. I didn't want to. Of the two, I loved Yui more. I did love Yukino, but only as a friend. Best friend, hell. I enjoyed our banters, but that didn't make me love her. Yui, however, did. She showered me with her genuineness. She loved me, and wasn't shy of it. I didn't realise my own feelings until her confession. I wasn't sure what to do. But purely out of instinct, I said "Yes." That was my answer. That was my heart's answer. My own true, personal feelings.

And now, those same exact feelings are flooding back. Yui's eyes had begun to tear up. She was anxiously waiting for my answer. The déjà vû was coming back.

"Yui."

I wrapped my arms around her frame, and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you for everything. Thank you for this wonderful day. Thank you for staying with me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you, for giving me,"

I felt my chest becoming wetter. Soft sobbing came from under hands that covered a beautiful face. I took those hands, and made her look up to my own face. My eyes, which I could feel slowly becoming rounder and less sharp, pierced her own pink orbs. She stared at mine, lips pursing clumsily.

"for giving me, a chance to love you. And, our baby. Together."

My speech seemed to release the flood gates that were already leaking. She cried out seemingly without a care for the world. I cradled her, and I could feel my own face becoming wet.

They say change is difficult. 'They' also tell you to change just as easily. Whoever 'they' are, they're full of it. They obviously haven't done anything positive with their lives. Why should 'they' be given the right to tell us to amend ours? I hate hypocrisy. That's why I hate myself. I called Yuigahama a 'nice girl'. She is, technically. Just not by my definition. I hated the judging stares that used to pierce me. I could walk buy a playground and have parents shield their children. I could go to a shop and have the owner eye me suspiciously, when all I wanted was but a can of coffee. I could walk behind a slow moving group of girls and instantly make them pick up their pace. Why? It was because I had been deemed as dubious person. The type you're supposed to stay away from. Have I done anything wrong? No, not to those people at least. Yet, as a precaution, dubious people are to be given a wide berth.

Indeed, I had reacted to Yuigahama the same way, all because I _expected_ her to be a 'nice girl'.

'I hate nice girls. Just exchanging greetings with them will get them on your mind. Start texting each other, and your heart will be set a flutter. If they call you, you're done for. Enjoy staring at your logs and grinning like a fool. However, I won't get fooled again. That's what your kind calls kindness. If you're nice to me, you're nice to others. I always end up nearly forgetting that. Reality is cruel, so I'm sure lies are a form of kindness. Thus, I say kindness itself is also a lie. I always ended up with these expectations. And I always ended up with these misunderstandings. And before I knew it, I stopped hoping. A highly trained loner is once bitten, twice shy. As a veteran on this battlefield of life, I've gotten used to losing. That's why I always hate nice girls.'

That was one of my favourite quotes. I used to live by it. I judged Yuigahama by it. She was the girl whose dog I saved? Wow it must be coincidence she decided to befriend me and join a hopeless club which I was in. No. The only logical explanation was that she felt indebted. She wanted to repay me somehow. She wanted to get rid of her guilt. It was all for her selfish gain. The most illogical thing was, that the exact scenario was true. The other ironic thing was that this was the girl that I was hugging as she crashed her head into my chest. And in her belly, was my own offspring. How did I manage to love her? Overcome my definition of her? Why did she love me despite knowing how rotten I was? All these questions have me, the Monster of Logic, stumped. I could easily ask her, but I doubt she could answer. Neither could I. I glanced over to the clock. 1.45 a.m, huh. Ah well. It's no longer my birthday, so I'll stop taking advantage of this special occasion to regain my cynicism, and sleep.

As I shifted my body and turned to face the opposite direction, I could hear Yui softly whisper,

"Hi...kki...otanjoubi….omedetou...aishiteru…" **(10)**

This silly, nice girl. Half asleep, yet still trying her best. Go to Hell, Gods of Romantic Comedy. You and your magical spells. Seriously, lift this one off of her. I can't love her enough. Thanks for letting me try though. For that I thank you.

 **Again, another reference to My girlfriend is more wrong than I had expected. Coincidentally, also the first reference again. Pls don't sue me BigKokujin ;-;**

s/11296094/1/My-girlfriend-is-more-wrong-than-I-had-expected

 **(2) An Internet joke where Canadians are all stereotyped as apologising, maple syrup drinking, hockey playing, moose riding Toronto rangers. Below is a link to what I'm talking about. Also, I apologise in case someone actually gets offended.**

pin/233202086930472980/

 **(3) Aeon Mall is a chain of malls all over Japan and Asia. Amazing places in my opinion. I've been in a few. They're all standardised which is cool.**

 **(4) Panties. In Weaboo-language.**

 **(5) Reference to JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.**

 **(6) Reference to Pokemon. To fully complete the game, you need to complete the Pokedex and Nationaldex by capturing all the Pokemon, including legendaries.**

 **(7) Reference to another amazing story.** **s/11275215/1/My-Stay-Over-Plan-was-Suspiciously-Successful** **by weewah. Shoutout to him, too!**

 **(8) Japanese for "You guys…"**

 **(9) Love Gems are the currency in the Love Live rhythm game. Uh, the title of this fic is in no relation to the series, by the way.**

 **Welp there goes the second chapter. It's just about twice the length of the previous one, huh. Well, I actually wrote this one a few days after chapter 1, but I got stuck after Yui revealed to 8man that she was pregnant. Welp I continued it, very poorly. At least I added some monologue. Still OOC, moreso this time. I tried, okay? Personally I prefer chapter 1. This one doesn't have a very good balance of emotions tbh. Ah well. I'll get to replying to some reviews.**

 **Shidou Shingen:?**

 **abullabul27: same.**

 **And I'll make this clear, yes there will be a one-shot for each of the girls that appear in the story (the main ones). This includes Isshiki, Yumiko, Hina, Kawasaki, Orimoto, Haruno, Shizuka and Meguri. I'll have some spin offs involving Totsuka and Komachi. No, this won't be all in the same continuity. For example, chapter one was Yukinox8man, so it's world number 11770614/1/. The next chapter will be 11770614/2/, which is a parallel universe to the first chapter, where it's Yuix8man instead.**

 **That did not make sense. Whatever, I'm writing this at like 1 am anyway. This won't be a harem story, either. But I have some plans to write a harem story. Lastly, thank you for all the support and compliments. I think you guys should read other, better fics well. I'll be goin' then. Ciao.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Iroha Isshiki

I'm not a siscon. I've never considered myself as one. Yet, what was I doing with a girl I once called "The Uncute Komachi"?

I looked over to the girl whose head was currently leaning on my shoulder. Her lips were glossy with lipstick, with a hint of drool leaking from a corner. There was no one else around us. Just us, a young couple, on an empty train.

The train soon came to a stop. I gently nudged the brunette, and she slowly lifted her head while rubbing her eyes.

"Eh...We're here already?"

"Mhmm. Come on, grab the bags and let's go."

"Uuu...help me up, please?"

The girl gave me a foxy smile, eyes still sleepy, and stretched out her hand. I sighed and shifted the shopping bags on my right hand further up my wrist.

"Jeez, I should stop pampering you."

As I pulled her up, she jumped and did a twirl, her hands behind her back, and flashed me a 1000 watt smile. _*Doki Doki*_ Please be careful who you show that smile to, Miss, as only a few people can take that critical hit and survive.

"Shishishi, you always say that, but you never stop~"

"Maybe I should then."

"You know you won't~"

I sighed and the both of us walked out of the train cabin. The air was comfortably cool. She breathed out and the air condensed. She gleefully took in the sight and breathed out more, the mist playfully dancing around her head. I couldn't help but find myself smiling at her antics.

The night was silent. We seemed to be the only people enjoying the atmosphere however, as I could see a few corporate slaves slowly trudging around, hands tightly gripping their suitcases.

 _Sucks to be them._ I thought. Chiba really was beautiful at night. Anywhere, really. Night-time is probably the best time of the day. Gone is the boisterous energy from midday and in it's place is a calm and collected environment. _My kind of environment._ Ah, my loner lifestyle doesn't go easily huh. Even with the lovely partner beside me, old habits die hard.

 _It's like you're my mirror  
My mirror staring back at me  
I couldn't get any bigger  
With anyone else beside of me  
And now it's clear as this promise  
That we're making two reflections into one  
'Cause it's like you're my mirror  
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me_

"Hachiman. Thank you."

I turned to her. We were right outside our apartment . We had worked hard, both of us,to save for a place we wanted to live our lives in, together.

I chuckled, and turned the key in the lock.

 _Now you're the inspiration for this precious song  
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on  
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone  
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home  
Just to let you know, you are_

I gently placed the shopping bags in a corner. I looked at our living room. It was simple. Just a large, leather couch, a massage chair which was a gift from Yukinoshita, a curved TV, and a coffee table with a small fish tank on it. A large picture frame hung grandly over a drawer. In that photo, was a man carrying a woman bridal-style. Both had their eyes closed, teeth baring with joyous expressions on their faces. The flaxen haired woman had a veil over her, white dress sparkling with jewels of every kind. The man was smartly dressed in a crisp tuxedo.

 _Armani, if I remember._

The girl, no, lady, walked out of the kitchen. In her hand was a bottle of wine. _Vouvray, Chenin blanc, 2015._ We had bought the bottle when we first started dating. It has been several years since then.

"My dear Hikigaya, would you mind opening this bottle?"

"Hoh, trying to be royal, Miss Lorde?" **(1)**

"Nope! Hehe, but really, open this bottle! I've been dying to try it ever since we bought it."

"Ah, maybe you married me only with the intention to drink this wine?"

"Probably!"

Ach, she really is rotten. She turned on the stereo, and jumped onto the couch, snuggling beside me.

"If you keep doing that, the couch will break."

"What? Are you saying I'm fat?"

"Not...really, but you do seem to have gained weight."

She went silent for a while, head fidgeting as her knees rubbed together.

 _'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul  
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go  
Just put your hand on the glass, I'm here trying to pull you through  
You just gotta be strong_

"Well...I went to the doctor the other day…"

My body tensed up. This was serious.

"A-and I went for a checkup, yeah?"

"Don't tell me...You're terminally ill or something?!"

"Calm down! It's nothing like that!"

I let out a sigh of relief, but was still tense.

"Then?"

"W-well…"

She took my hand and put it on her lap, and placed her delicate hands over mine.

"I took a pregnancy test. It came out positive."

My eyes widened dramatically, and I clenched my fists. I could hardly believe my ears.

"R-really?! T-that's great! When was this?"

"About a month ago. I stopped having my period and started to experience some morning sickness, so I went to the hospital. When I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to surprise you on our wedding anniversary."

"Ah, ha...what a great anniversary gift, huh. Does anybody else know about this?"

"Well yeah! I told Komachi-chan, Sensei and Hayato! And, the Service Club."

Hearing the Service Club made me flinch. I had fallen out with them after leaving the school. They weren't happy about me choosing Iroha over them, and we got into a huge argument. While Iroha managed to patch things up between them, I couldn't forgive them for what they said to Iroha. Girls, no, humans are ugliest when things don't go their way.

I breathed in deeply, and asked.

"So how did it go?"

"Well, they were pretty sad. They still haven't gotten over you. However, they did congratulate me. Yukino-senpai told me to call her for any legal assistance if you decided to run away, though. Should I?"

"That's up for you to decide. Welp, now that you're pregnant, I should have no fear of knocking you up again, right?"

She looked at me with a horrified expression on her face, and quickly grabbed her phone. I could see Yukinoshita's name on speed dial. Oi, what's the use of that!?

"Hello? Yukino-senpai? Hikigaya-senpai is being a creep and can you please quickly send help? Could you also call Sensei here? I need protection just in case he-"

Hearing her say that made me jump out of my skin. Not just Yukino, but Sensei too?!

"O-oi! Give me the phone! What if Yukinoshita and Sensei really do something!"

I didn't need Yukinoshita to come over to my house in the middle of the night to "watch over" the two of us. **(2)**

Isshiki bounced off the couch and stuck her tongue out at me, and her left finger pulling down her eyelid. Her right hand wagging the phone and on the screen was Yukinoshita's extremely unimpressed face.

"Boo! Catch me if you can!"

"Why you! I-Iroha! Come back here!"

I shouted that, and soon gave chase. The two of us started running around like kids, and we eventually found ourselves in the master bedroom, out of breath and lying on the bed, with my hand clasping hers in a tight grip, phone in between.

"Hah...Hah...chasing a girl who's younger than you like that...you really are a siscon."

I swear to the Gods of Romantic Comedy, I'm not a siscon.

 **(1)Reference to Lorde - Royals**

 **(2) I'm not a plagiariser I swear.**

 **s/11296094/1/My-girlfriend-is-more-wrong-than-I-had-expected**

 **Ah, yo. Thanks for reading again. Not too many references this time. I tried doing a more descriptive essay and make it closer to the first chapter, so I hope it's ok. The song I used in this fic is Justin Timberlake - Mirrors. Pretty Romantic,I felt it fit 8man and Isshiki pretty well, seeing as they are pretty similar. This chapter in particular was a joy to write, but it's again, incredibly OOC. I think I got Isshiki's personality down tho. I'll reply to some reviews.**

 **Judicar Deimos: Thank you. So much. For this great review. The feedback really helps me.**

 **BigKokujin: Ah! Senpai noticed me! Kyaa...Oh wait you're here to sue me nvm. Still a big fan. :#**

 **Well, once again thanks for reading. I appreciate constructive feedback, so I can continue to improve. Cya**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Yumiko Miura

I never liked hospitals. Not just because of _a certain accident_ I had, but generally because they reminded me of two things: life, and death. Ironically, I was in one because of one of the reasons I mentioned above.

I shifted nervously on the bench I was sitting on. The hallway was air-conditioned, but I was sweating non-stop. I repeatedly looked at the door that was in front of me. _Labour & Delivery Room No.8._ Muffled screams and shouts could heard from behind the door. Hey, aren't birthing rooms supposed to be soundproof? My wife certainly is impressive.

Miura, no _Hikigaya_ Yumiko, said wife, was the one producing all the noise. She was currently experiencing the pains of becoming a mother, in a more literal sense. She was happy when she first found out, but right now I don't think that holds true. Every few seconds I could hear her yell out "HIKIGAYA" or "HACHIMAN" and also expletives that were terribly uncouth for a woman in her position.

" _I'll be fine"_ She said.

" _Don't worry. I'll just push and push and the babies will be out there in no time. Just relax and wait outside."_ She said.

As I heard the screams get progressively louder and louder, I began to feel more anxious as well. I started to walk back and forth along the hallway, like a tiger. _Like my wife_ , heck. Hah...hah...still cracking jokes at a time like this. What are you doing with your life, Hikigaya? Suddenly, a piercing screech resounded through the air.

I felt my heart jump out of my ribcage and I scrambled to the door, clumsily trying to turn the knob. As the door opened, I poked my head into the room and half expected the lady on the bed to scream," _GET OUT_ " **(1)**

Thankfully, she didn't, as she was panting heavily, messy brown hair strewn across her forehead. The scrubs **(2)** \- no, nurses in scrubs noticed me. They were visibly exhausted, eyes drooping down, but they kept a slight smile on their faces.

My eyes darted around for what my wife had delivered, and landed on the two most beautiful things I had ever seen. Metaphorically, that is. Newborn babies are covered in blood and… slime. They had always reminded me of Ripley in that one scene from _Alien._

I fondly smiled as I remembered the time Yumiko and I decided to watch a movie together. We had rented an American horror movie as we decided to see how scary their films were compared to Japan's. And I have to say, they're quite alright.

I was shocked a few times, but nothing like Yumiko. Throughout the entire movie, she was gripping my arm and burying her head in it. That showed me a cute, vulnerable side of the her beneath the queeny exterior she held through the ages.

I took in the features of my newborns. They were fraternal twins. The boy was silent, and looked like he was peacefully sleeping. His hair was a mix of dirty brown and black. His sister, significantly smaller than him, was kicking her legs and bawling her lungs out. She had a purer dark chocolate brown colour to her hair. The two of them were perfect opposites. It's gonna be fun looking after them, huh.

I walked over to the man holding them. He had a broad smile on his face, wrinkled eyes shining with jollity. He handed me my babies and took off his surgical cap, revealing his dull brown hair, the exact same as my wife's, but aged.

"Congratulations Son-in-Law-kun. You've got yourself a pair of twins."

I chuckled, and looked down to said twins. The sister had calmed down, and looked at me with perfect olive orbs, her mouth open with wonder. She giggled and cooed at me, and I could feel my heart melt. _This one's my favourite._ W-what? I'm not a daughtercon!

I turned to the other one. He too, stared at me in fascination. His eyes were similar to mine. As Yukino would put them, 'Like Pan-san's". Thankfully, they were more similar in shape to his mother's than mine. His black irises pierced mine, and we connected. Non-creepily, _unlike a certain Haruno._ **(3)**

"Hikio…come here."

I turned to look at the source. She was smiling weakly at me, and our children. I took a step towards the side of the bed, and brought the twins to Yumiko. She gingerly took them from my arms, and gently rocked as she cradled them.

She quietly whispered to the two of them.

"You're both so beautiful."

I leaned in, brushed her hair away, and kissed her forehead.

"You're beautiful too, Princess."

"Ha...Maybe not now. Thanks for the empty praise, though."

Yumiko turned to me, her tiredness becoming more and more apparent. She motioned me to take back the babies, and I complied. Woah, there. They're a little heavy,the both of them.

My Father-in-law, Mr Miura, placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Why don't we give my daughter a rest. Give us the babies and wait outside for a while again, then we'll talk."

I nodded, took one last look at my children, and handed two nurses the babies separately.

 _ **BIRTH CERTIFICATE**_

 _This certifies that_ _ **Hitoshi Hikigaya**_ _was_ _born to_ _ **Miura Yumiko**_ _and_ _ **Hikigaya Hachiman**_ _on_ _ **April 8 20XX**_ _at_ _ **18:09**_

 _Weight:_ _ **3.6 Kilograms**_

 _Length:_ _ **49 Centimetres**_ _at_ _ **Chiba Children's Hospital**_ _in_ _ **Chiba, Chiba, Japan**_

 _Signed:_ _ **Yumiko Miura, Hikigaya Hachiman**_

 _ **BIRTH CERTIFICATE**_

 _This certifies that_ _ **Haruko Hikigaya**_ _was born to_ _ **Miura Yumiko**_ _and_ _ **Hikigaya Hachiman**_ _on_ _ **April 8 20XX**_ _at_ _ **18:14**_

 _Weight:_ _ **3.7 Kilograms**_

 _Length:_ _ **50 Centimetres**_ _at_ _ **Chiba Children's Hospital**_ _in_ _ **Chiba, Chiba, Japan**_

 _Signed:_ _ **Yumiko Miura, Hikigaya Hachiman**_

I stared at the certificatesthat were just given to me. I grinned, seeing the differences between the siblings. There's definitely going to be a rivalry between them in the future. I glanced at the babies, _mine,_ from beyond a glass panel. To the nurses and patients passing by I must've looked like a creep who just walked up to the nursery. My stubble and dishevelled hair did not help. Staying overnight in hospitals is rough.

I walked over to the room where my wife was resting. _Delivery Room 4...Delivery Room 6…where is it- ah, there it is._ I silently opened the door. _The Return of Stealth Hikki._ Haven't used that skill in a _looong_ time. Didn't need to, or couldn't anyways. Not with Yumiko around. She attracted attention wherever she went, and as much as I didn't like it, some of the attention rubbed off on me.

Usually whenever we went out shopping or on a date, she'd look like a model walking right out of a fashion show while I'd just look like her servant or something. Not very flattering, considering that was quoted from someone. Thinking back, Yukinoshita really doesn't hold back with her insults.

"What's with the creepy grin?"

Ah, I was smiling? Man, the past does get me riled up.

"Nah, it's nothing. Just remember something nostalgic."

"Oh? Was it of the days before you proposed to me?"

I walked out from the doorway to the room. The curtains were wide open, revealing the early morning sun in all its glory. The yellow hue shed on the mostly white room reminded me of Yumiko's old hair colour.

She returned it to its original colour when she knew she was due. Her hair was now a pure hazel, and only reached slightly above her shoulders. She had it cut so it would be less distracting for when she worked. Right where she was actually. She was a pediatric nurse in her father's hospital.

Apparently, she wasn't the only one who liked playing with her locks. The children in the hospital did as well, and that ended up resulting in anaccident. Not gonna go into details with that.

"Maybe it wasn't my mistake to propose to you, but it was you who first confessed to me."

She suddenly sat up on her bed, and blushed beet-red. I continued to the balcony, and rested my arms on the railings.

"B-baka! It wasn't easy c-confessing to you at that time, y'know."

"For someone like you to have confessed to someone like me, it definitely must have been embarrassing."

I adjusted my position, so that my back faced the scenery and my elbows rested on the handrails. I gazed at Yumiko.

Although she had literally just given birth, she was as beautiful as ever. Even without makeup, her features were undoubtedly perfect.

She truly was leagues above me. In high-school she was the Queen of the class while I was but a loner.

It's a funny saying, how "opposites attract". When it comes to magnets, the north pole of one magnet draws the south pole of another magnet toward it. Identical poles will repel each other.

In terms of humans, there's another quote out there that greatly summarises such relationships.

" _It's usually our opposites who complement us best, because they're the only ones who can balance us out"_

Yumiko caught my gaze, and started to rub her arm nervously. She bit her bottom lip, an act so simple yet so seductive.

"If...if I didn't like I wouldn't even be here giving birth to your children."

To be honest, I was pretty caught off guard by that. I let out an empty laugh.

"How many years has it been since we dated? 5, 6? And you still haven't told me why you confessed that day too. I always thought it was because Hayama rejected you."

She shifted her head, now only looking at me with her peripheral vision. _Stolen from one of my good old 108 Loner Skills™._

"It is, sort of."

She glanced back at me, as if scared that I would get mad. But I, as an ex-loner, had already deduced that from the beginning.

"I knew."

She grimaced. I took brief steps towards her, and leaned in, close to her ear. She tensed up considerably, and fearfully looked at me.

"But, you did nothing wrong."

I kissed her. The usual cherry that wore itself over her lips was no longer there, but its taste still lingered. She 'eeped', but eventually melted into the kiss. It's very easy to tame a tiger once you've got the hang of it.

We parted after a while, but a small trail of saliva was left behind. She quickly wiped it off with her hospital gown's sleeve, and looked the other way, blushing furiously. That's a, a pretty Kawasaki-ish thing to do, ain't it.

My cheeks were pretty flushed too. It was a very out of character thing for me to do. But then again, this whole scenario with Yumiko was pretty implausible as well. She didn't even have a route in the PS Vita visual novel. **(4)**

"Wh-what do you mean by that?"

"Ah...where do I start. After Hayama, rejected you, you were obviously at a loss. After all, pretty much the only reason you ever bothered to come to school was him. Yui, Tobe and Hina were just a by-product of your friendship with him."

That was the harsh truth, and she knew it. No matter how close, no matter how dear she held Yui, Hina or anyone, Hayama had the highest place in her heart. That heart was swiftly broken into a million pieces by him, however.

"After the rejection, you could barely cope. You didn't come to school, and when you did you were just an empty shell of your past."

I shot a glance at Yumiko. What I was doing...it was the same as what I did to Sagami. Actively and cruelly pointing out her flaws.

"Yui was obviously distraught, what with how she considered you a true friend. She brought it upon herself to cheer you up. Yukino… would just make things worse with her relationship with you, and Hayama."

I could hear Yumiko sobbing. I didn't want to do this, but it was for the better. I needed to get this off my chest. All the secrets we hid, I hid, I wanted her to be the first to know.

"I ended up going along with Yui. I don't exactly remember what I said to you then that got you out of that state, but I do remember how much my face hurt after you slapped me."

I let out a small laugh, thinking back on memories like that. Remembering the days when my _[Cynicism]_ was fully maxed.

"Ah, but one thing I didn't, or don't, get was when or why...you fell for me."

"It was because you made me wake up."

Yumiko was now sitting upright, hands on her lap balled up in fists, staring at me with a fiery passion in her eyes. I've only ever seen that once, and that was when she slapped me.

"Hikigaya...you were a real asshole, you know? Like, how could you even? You knew I was depressed with the whole Hayato thing, yet you still used that method of yours. You could've, like, at least softened the blow for your future wife."

"Kek...how could anyone, let alone me, know that you would become my future wife?"

"Hmph. S-so, after the whole wake up call, I couldn't think of anyone else other than you. O-of course, it wasn', like, romantic at first. I really hated you at that time. Then, I started to think about your words. I started to think about why I liked Hayato. I realised it was just a childish crush. When I wanted to pick my life up again, you were there to help me along the way."

Ah, that's right. I guess I tend to fully assist people I feel guilty of. I knew at that time, that Yumiko's change was because of me. Like with Isshiki, I felt an obligation to...help Yumiko find herself.

"Eventually, I, like, found myself hating you less and less, and whenever Yui made a move on you, I felt a pain in my heart. When she told me she wanted to confess to you…"

Yumiko bit her lip again, waiting for my reaction.

"Y-yeah… I knew she liked me."

She gave me a forlorn look. I've read enough manga in my younger days to know what she was going to say next.

"Everybody is selfish. It's human nature to want to put yourself in front of other people first."

"I know that. But still, she was my friend. _I_ was her friend. She helped me get through my darkest moments and I repaid her by stopping her from confessing to you. All so… I could have you for myself."

"Ha, ha… That certainly was selfish. But, I don't think I have any regrets about choosing you over Yui."

"Hachiman…thank you."

"Whatever for? If it weren't for me you wouldn't have to go through with giving birth yesterday."

"You're so right. When I get better I'm gonna pummel you."

"You wouldn't. Hmm, Haruko does seem to take after you, now that I think about it."

"With the amount of energy she has? I think she may have surpassed me. Well, then, that would leave Hitoshi to take after you. Hopefully, he doesn't become a loner like you in the future."

"I'm sure he won't. He's going to be kept in the spotlight, after all, with his sister around him."

"Ha…ah...I'm feeling a bit sleepy. I think I'm going to rest for now."

"Alright. See you later then."

I tucked Yumiko into her bed, gave her forehead a quick peck, and left. I walked by the nursery, and saw my two babies sleeping soundly. Heh, rest well, kids.

I continued out of the hospital and into the carpark. Who I saw at the entrance surprised me, however.

"Hikki."

"Hachiman."

There, stood the two other members of the Service Club.

"...Yui, Yukino. Ha...so what brings you two ladies here?"

"Nothing, just to visit an old friend on, no, after a special occasion of his."

"Ah-ah, Yukinon meant to say that we wanted to visit you after Yumiko had given birth."

"Ha, I think I got what Yukino said. I can still _read between the line_ s, as good as before. If you girls wanna go see Yumiko now, she's sleeping and I'm not sure if she wants to see Yukino right now. So, yeah. It should be fine for you two to meet my kids though."

"She's still holding a grudge against me?"

"Well, not really, but women don't forgive, but forget, right?"

"Hmm, you're not wrong there. Sigh...it's a good thing I didn't bring Hayato here."

"Mm. Good decision."

"Uh...guys? Can we go see Hikki's babies right now? I wanna see how cute they are!"

"Right. Let's not waste any more time. Lead the way, Newfathergaya."

"Wow, after a hiatus of several years your nicknames for me come back in full force. Heh, well, let's go."

"Uwaa! They're sooo cute!"

"Yes. The boy looks a bit like Pan-san, though."

 _100% called it._

"Had a feeling you'd say that."

"Oh? Thinking of me even when I wasn't there? Unfaithful-gaya returns."

"Perhaps I'd need to fly away from the bomb you're setting."

"Hahaha..!"

Yukinoshita and I turned to look at Yui. She was holding her stomach in laughter.

"Hahaha! Oh...my sides…"

"What's so funny?"

"Yes. I don't recall making a joke. Although Hikigaya here is one himself. And do mind that were in a hospital."

"Ha...ah...I'm sorry it's just that… I remembered how it's always like with the three of us, and I thought about how Hikki's kids were going to be in future. I don't know, but I think Hikki's boy is going to be like Yukinon."

"As long as he takes after the right features I'll be fine with that."

"Right features are the only features I have."

"For example, I don't want him to inherit her arrogance."

"Haha!"

"I'm a bit worried Haruko is going to be too energetic for her brother, though. She seems to be a mix between Yumiko and Yui."

"Ah! She's going to be like her Godmother? Subarashii desu!" **(5)**

"That might be more trouble than its worth. So, I think that's enough of staring at my kids from beyond a wall. You girls can visit them as soon as they return home."

"Yes, as long as you remember to call us when that happens."

"Aww...ok then. Tell Yumiko I said Hi! And get well soon, I guess?"

"Oh trust me. She's in good health. Just gave birth and she's still as perfect as ever."

I escorted them out of the hospital. Nice talking to some old friends.

"Ah...what was I going to do? Right, drive home."

I entered my car, a good old _Mazda Axela._ Despite coming out a few years prior it still looked sleek as hell. Above the dashboard a lone photo frame stood. Hmm. Maybe I should go get another one. Well, time to head to _Daiso._ **(6)**

 **(1)Reference to a scene in** _ **Knocked Up.**_

 _ **(2)Gaming term.**_

 **(3)Reference to another amazing fic,** **s/11581341/1/Obsession** **by 80K Hikigaya. Shoutout to him!**

 **(4)Well, as far as I know, Yumiko doesn't have a route in the Oregairu PS Vita game.**

 **(5)Subarashii means something like 'wonderful' or 'great'.**

 **(6)Daiso or The Daisō (** **ザ・ダイソー** **?) is a large franchise of 100-yen shops in Japan.**

It's been 2 weeks since I last updated. Here's a list of excuses / reasons.

Examsssssss

Writers block

Research

My phone dieded.

Ah well yeah that's about it, excluding procrastination. I was gonna upload yesterday but well like I said my phone died. Eh, so I'm gonna try to push out the next one (or Ebina will, hehe) asap, but like, exams and stuff. I mostly have the main ideas down. Oh, and it may be more mature, too. Ah well I'm gonna go talk about this story and answer some reviews.

Ah yes. Yumiko Miura. Very, difficult to write imo. 8man's also especially OOC in this one, but mostly because he exposed himself to Yumiko. Man I'm talking like she's radiation or something. Er, the backstory for their relationship was pretty fun to write, but it has lots of fantastical elements. But this a fanfic so yeah. Also the names of 8man's children are foreshadowing their personality, so go look them up if you're so obliged. Also, Yukinoshita's had a cameo in every single chapter, hasn't she? Lmao she isn't even my favourite character or (my) best girl. *Hint my favourite girl has an ahoge* Eh...this story is actually my first version, but I did write an alternate one that was more comedic and focused on Yumiko giving Birth, like at the start of this chapter but its only 20% done and I don't want to delay this any further. Plus, it's much shorter. I'll answer some reviews now.

Guest (2): How many girls? All of them.

Guest (1): Ah well, I respect your opinion. 8man will be OOC in my fic mostly because he's heavily influenced by age, experience and also because of his significant other. I agree that it's very un-Hachimanly, though. ( _that's because I'm a terrible writer please go read a more accurate fic like in God Emperor Penguin's fic_ _s/11044041/1/Even-Hikigaya-Hachiman-can-write-a-Love-Letter)_

 _Umami08:_ Each girl having their own song? That's a nice idea.

Lord Mortensen: Do you love this fic? What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more. Nah jk thanks for the feedback. The girls will have their own chapters. _Just uh, wait a while._

Ah I think that's about it. Thanks for the feedback. See you (hopefully) soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Hina Ebina

The sunlight beaming through the window woke me up from a seemingly sleepless night.

The birds outside were chirping merrily and I could hear the _oba-san_ s **(1)** greeting each other as they went about for their morning jog.

 _Damn early risers. Why can't they just bring their healthy lifestyle and overly positive attitude somewhere else?_

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and yawned. _What time is it…_ my hand reached out to the lamp table for my phone. _7:00_. _Too early._ As I put my phone back I felt it knock into something else. I threw a glance at table and saw a shimmer of red. _Glasses?_ I'm not myopic, if I recall.

Hold on. My eyes darted around the room, and I realised I was in foreign territory.

It was heavily 'decorated' with anime related _paraphernalia._ Figures of famous _bishounen_ **(2)** characters stood on shelves on the wall. Books upon books filled a cupboard. There were _Free!_ **(3)** posters plastered on the wall depicting the boys…doing...

All these were indicative that I was in a room belonging to a type of person commonly referred to as _fujoshi_ **(4)** , and there was only one _fujoshi_ I knew of.

I looked over to my side. Poking out of a blanket was a mop of hazel usually done up in a bobbed hairstyle. I nudged her with my left elbow, the bed we were on being small enough for us to only have a few inches of space between yet being not too squeezy.

"Oi...Ebina. Wake up."

"Nn…5 more minutes…"

"Come on now."

Ebina roused awake and sat upright, facing the other direction, her back to me. A singlet covered it, and the window of it gave me a view of her glossy pale skin, free of blemishes.

She seemed to notice my staring, and grabbed the blanket to cover herself before turning to face me.

"Ah... _ohayou_ **(5)** Hikitani-kun. Had a good night's sleep?"

"Mm, good morning. I'm not too sure if I had my 8 hours, but I'm feeling quite alright."

"Mm. But you're the reason why _we_ didn't get our 8 hours last night."

"Heh. I guess you're right."

"Fua… let's get some breakfast before going to school."

"I guess I'll whip something up. Got any eggs?"

"Other than the ones you fertilised last night? Yeah I have some in the fridge."

"Woah, woah woah. That's way too direct. Plus, if they really were fertilised it would cause some trouble wouldn't it."

"Hehe."

"Come on. Lead the way to the kitchen."

"Ok~ Oh! Which apron do you want, by the way?"

"Oya? I know you're pretty, and wacky but I didn't think you'd be brave enough for a naked apron."

"I didn't say anything about _me_ wearing an apron~"

"Che, I knew it was too good to be true. I'm not gonna put myself in a situation where you can blackmail me. I don't know where the hidden cameras are set up in your home."

"Aww, what a pity. I thought maybe I could send the pics of you in naked apron to your _seme_ partner **(6)**."

"Who's my seme- never mind forget I asked."

"Hayato-kun, of course! Hihihi"

"Geh. _Kono hentai onna_ **(7)**."

* * *

"And Hikitani-kun was _so good_ last night! Yeah, he was _getting_ all the _right spots_ …"

I buried my face in my arms, desperately attempting to hide my shame. Why would anyone need to embarrass me when I do it to myself all the time?

"Dammit, Ebina stop making it sound so dirty. All we did was do a project together."

" _Just_ a project? Nothing else?"

"You know it yourself."

"Hihi~ Are you mad, Hikitani-kun?"

"It's my face."

"Lol! I didn't know Hikio could be such a joker. Ne, Hina, you wanna go shopping later? I saw this really cute skirt! Yui's coming along, too."

Miura rested her face on her hands as she leaned in towards Ebina. Ebina threw a glance at me, and I shrugged at her.

"Ehehe…I would but, like, Hikigaya and I have plans later…"

"Hmm? Oh, are you two, like, going on a date?"

"Ah, yeah, something like that."

"Ehh? I didn't think Hikio would be that daring. Mind if I come along?"

' _You got some balls to take my friend away from me, scumbag. I'm gonna keep an eye on you two.'_ Is what I could decipher from the glare that Miura gave me. Oi, oi. Isshiki's been rubbing off on you, hasn't she?

"Y-yeah, w-we're going to a… an otaku store later! So if you're still keen, we wouldn't mind, right, Hina?"

"Actually, Hikitani and I want to go alone, later, so some other time maybe, Yumiko?"

"Hah? Hmm… ok then, Hina. I trust you. _Hikio._ "

"Ye-Yes, Miura?"

" _Don't try anything funny."_

I could see a tiger made of intense aura appear from behind Miura. _Ko-kowaii…_ **(8)**

"Of course! W-what kind of person do you think I am?"

"A sleazebag. Creep. Stalker."

 _Hachiman._

"Ouch."

Critical hit combo x3! _Finish him._ **(9)**

* * *

"Jeez, what do people take me for? It's my eyes, isn't it."

"Hmm? I think your eyes are pretty cute."

"Wh-wha?"

Hachiman heart down. Too much doki.

"Yeah. They fit an uke character like you very well. _Like when Hayato kisses you and your eyes widen and then you get absorbed into the kiss-"_

Blood gushed out of Ebina's nose. I quickly grabbed a packet of tissues and frantically tried to cover her nose. Normally I'd be extremely freaked out by the blood but after some time of dating a fujoshi you get used to it. Ah, it seems that I've taken over Miura's role.

"Sigh...We're in public, so please, Hina."

"Hic...hah...but really, Hikitani-kun? Look around, there's no one here."

I looked around. We were at the top of a hill, on a small clearing with a bench and lamp being the only source of light. It cast a blue-ish hue upon us. _Thanks, Japan government, but I don't think I'm gonna be committing suicide any time soon._ **(10)**

I walked over to the bench, and sat down. The hill overlooked most of the town, with the lights in the background flickering, it contrasted well with the quiet, peaceful environment Hina and I were in.

"Ah...my legs are tired. I think you'll need to support me when we get older."

"Hihi...Hikigaya. What do you think of marriage?"

I looked up at Hina as she said that. She wasn't facing me, but was instead looking beyond the scenery.

"Well, obviously marriage is just romanticised slavery. You fork out money for the wedding and engagement rings, then take on 9-to-5 jobs to support a family and house, and when you get old you-"

"Will that happen if we marry?"

"Ah…"

I was caught off guard by that. Hina Ebina tends to be capable of that. This wasn't the first time nor will it be the last.

"I told you...a long time ago...that it might work out between us, didn't I?"

"Heh, yeah. Can't forget that, and I guess it did."

"Do you think it'll be the same the next time round? Except with a bigger responsibility?"

"When we went into this relationship we had no expectations, didn't we? And look how it turned out."

"Yes. But this time… I'm scared."

Ebina turned around. Behind her glasses, I could see tears forming. She took slow steps towards me.

"I'm scared. I'm scared of myself. I don't know how well I'm going to be a good wife, I don't know if I'm going to be a good mother. I'm a rotten girl, and I'm selfish, too. I said that I liked the people around me, and where I am. I know that I'm going to lose that one day. I just don't know if I'm going to get a second chance like that anymore."

"Hina…"

"Hikitani-kun… do you think we'll be able to make it together?"

By now the tears on her face were freely running down her cheeks, wetting her glasses. I stood up and walked to her, taking her glasses off with my left hand and wiping away the tears with my right.

Her cheeks were tender, and her tears were smudging up the makeup. Although I would argue that the makeup was ruining her beauty.

Ebina...out of all the girls I knew, was definitely a contender for, at least, one of the most beautiful. While she lacked the cool grace of Yukinoshita, or the cute bubbliness of Yuigahama, she was, and is, by anyone's standards, beautiful. It was no wonder so many boys asked her out, and got rejected.

However, truth be told, her personality was flawed. Take the wings away from an angel and they're nothing more than a human being. At least that's what it seems like on the surface. Beneath that, could be pure, immaculate, or defective, faulty.

In the case of this angel, she hated herself. She, despite being surrounded by people who cared for her, only minded the price tag. She was afraid of losing her precious people. Her mask rarely slipped, but when it did, it just showed how vulnerable she was.

"Hina...what do you think of children?"

I walked up to her, and gently grabbed her hands, putting them down. She sniffed and looked up to me.

"They're noisy, they're spoilt, they're disgusting and worst of all, they're always smiling. Some people think I'm unhappy, but it's just that I appreciate silence in a world that never stops talking. Children, around them, despite their parents being alcoholics, despite their parents never being at home, they're always so pure and happy."

"And...That's why you hate them?"

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm actually quite fond of them. That's why,"

I kneeled down on one knee. Thankfully there weren't any people around us or I would die of embarrassment.

"After we finish High school, I want you to marry me. After that, we're gonna make a family together. Twins named Hitoshi and Haruko, or a daughter named Homura **(11)** , whatever. We're gonna have kids together. You're going to be an amazing mother, but I'm gonna need you to first believe that we can make it together. I have full faith in you, and I hope you have full faith in me. Even if the whole world abandons you, I'll always be by your side. **(12)** "

Ebina's lips curled up in a grin, and straight out of a scene from Nisekoi **(13)** , she wiped the tears from her eyes, blazer blowing in the wind, a hue suddenly appearing, and said.

"If you say words like that to a rotten girl like me, I'll really fall for you, you know?"

I smiled back.

"Haven't you already?"

"Fufufu… you sound like a riajuu now, Hikitani-kun."

"Riajuu? No no no. This is a shoujo **(14)** manga."

"Fufu… I'd call this a doujinshi **(15)** more than anything. Sadly, it seems like you've fully gone on my route. Hayato-kun will be so disappointed…"

"Nah, I'd say he and I are both glad. Me more so because I've just captured a rotten girl."

"Hihi. Hikitani-kun I don't mind you proposing to me without a ring,"

"Ehehe…"

"But if you ever lie to me, I won't forgive you~"

"Hmph. What a rotten girl."

We picked up our bags, and left. A moth that kept flying around the lamp earlier stopped, and flew off.

* * *

 **(1)Oba-san means middle-aged lady.**

 **(2)Bishounen means beautiful boy, transcending the boundary of gender. An example would be Sebastian from** _ **Kuroshitsuji.**_

 _ **(3)Free!**_ **Is a...sports anime about swimming. Swimming, hot, muscular, amazing-bodied guys...where was I?**

 **(4)Fujoshi means rotten girl who's into Boy's love and other stuff like that. Ebina, basically.**

 **(5)Ohayou means 'good morning'**

 **(6)Seme refers to the boy who's the one on top in yaoi. Uke is the bottom.** _ **God why do I know this…**_

 _ **(7)Geh. Kono hentai onna**_ **means "Geh. This pervert(ed) (woman)."**

 **(8)Kowaii here means 's-scary'**

 **(9)Mortal Kombat reference. Fighting games in general.**

 **(10)In Japan, and other countries, street lamps are sometimes blue. This is to dissuade suicides, as blue is apparently relaxing and calming.**

 **(11)Reference to, once again, an amazing story.** _ **My After Story SNAFU**_ **by GodricDamp Go read it ;3**

 **(12)Variation of a quote from Black Rock Shooter.**

 **(13)*SPOILERS* Ebina's reaction here is inspired by a scene in Nisekoi chapter 190, right after Raku says something to Marika.**

 **(14)Refers to the demographic of (usually) teen girls. Most focus on romance and are girly and have big eyed girls and bishounen.**

 **(15)Doujinshi are fan made work, usually in the form of manga.**

Ey yo. Ebina's chapter is done! I have to say, this is my least favourite story to write so far. It doesn't exactly have the _specialness_ of the stories before it. But eh, it's out. Much more different from what I had first planned it to be. Also, hooray! \\(^ _ ^)/ Next story's gonna be Kawasaki! Although I do have a (y*****e) Rumi story WIP. Welp gonna reply to some reviews.

NoLife1989: Not a long shot, but it's not gonna be what you'd expect.

Speechy: Well, I do try to keep him in character, but like...it's hard...and I'm a bad writer… pls forgive ;-;

Guest1: I could write chap 4's backstory, but I'd rather leave it as lore.

Guest2: Pay up, because it's Kawasaki! ;P nah jk. Er, last chapter I was only half jokingly saying that he was gonna impregnate all the girls 0.o but I'll write the other girls if I want to, or if I have the time.

hereditus: Day 9. Pls send help.

Amused Archer: Same.

boudicca: 'Courage'? more like two kids. Hehehe

80K Hikigaya: :0 ermugard

Judicar Deimos: ayy thanks. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, but I'll still try to keep in character. Meguri, huh? She's gonna be tough. But iunno just a short one, I guess. For Tsurumi I'm gonna be taking lots of liberties, tho. Or rather, somewhat more inspired by stories of her currently on this site. Like a _certain Assassin's._

RalphZiggy: I'd say Yukino and Hayato aren't exactly willingly wed, but hey. Lol, ok. Gonna dedicate a chapter to your suggestion.

Aight. Think I'm done. Now gotta sleep. I got a history test tomorrow and I'm gonna end up flunking at this rate. Ciao.


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